Cooking is a competitive team sport. And NYC kitchen cultures are notorious for being like men's locker rooms: sweaty and filled with testosterone. Recently I was asked what's it's like to be a female cook…
Even kitchen's in France (or maybe I should say especially kitchen's in France) are balls to the wall, militaristic, male environments. So how does some one like me, a girly girl, who actually picks the pink kitchen towels out from the blue and white ones fit in? Good question. I suppose the answer is: I don't. That's not to say that I have a problem breaking down a leg of veal, killing lobsters, or sweating it out over the fire. I'm all into that too. I enjoy the adrenaline rush, the push, the team effort just as much as any guy.
I find the trick (as I've learned through trial and error) to cooking in a dominant male culture is to be yourself, but stand your ground. And make sure you have at least one really good girlfriend. Maybe even one that speaks French so you can talk privately. Gossip shamelessly.
The other great thing about having at least one girlfriend in the kitchen (I'm lucky to have several) is then you have your own private island that you can escape to when the guys start, well, being guys.
And truthfully, I actually think the girl talk is often dirtier than the guy talk. Our conversations vary from what's the hottest perfume to the latest greatest cooking technique to whether vibrators should be substituted for male companionship. (No conclusions formed on any subject listed.)
At least we have better things to talk about than football and basketball. Jeez. Do men and women approach cooking differently? Of course we do. Is that a bad thing? No. Do some guys hate cooking with women in the kitchen? Yes. Do most guys appreciate women in the kitchen? Yes!
Do we all cook together for 12 hours a day and then go out get beers together afterwards? Oh hell yes! What is respected above all regardless of sex, is the quality of your work and your commitment. That stands on its own. I think all the men and women that I cook with would agree .
Qu’ils veuillent l’avouer ou non, je pense que les chefs (même les français…!) apprécient les femmes dans la cuisine justement à cause de ce désir d’être meilleures que les hommes. It keeps the macho men on their toes…!
Keep up the good work!
I’d just like to make an observation… maybe it’s true that vibrators don’t snore or come home drunk or eye up other girls, but they’re utterly hopeless at cutting the grass and fixing cars. And I’d hazard a guess they’re pretty lousy at cooking too.
We have our uses.
🙂
Another wonderful post, Amy. When I worked I was in the front of the house, but still it was mostly guys. And I too am a girly girl and proud to be one. It was oh so nice when finally a few other girls came on board—-at least one of us would have remembered our lipstick and perfume in case another forgot either of these essentials 🙂
I am at 200% agree with you. I am chef in a french restaurant and for me, its very important to have some women in the team. I had a women like stagier, i worked 9 months with her, it was wonderful, i learnd a lot of things with her and she did a better job than some men. Ill never forget he. But you are right for some chefs, womens need more time to prove they can do a good work. But for me today in the XXI ème siècle, women deserve much their place as men in the kitchen 🙂
Je pense que tu as perdu des poids? Mange plus!!! Bon printemps!!
SAS – You really think I’ve lost weight?!?! Really???? I’ve put on a few pounds but I”m afraid it’s all gone to my butt. Unfortunately I actually feel it in my knees. I’ve never had knee problems until just these last few weeks. OWD? (old woman’s disease?) I dunno… Happy Spring to you too!!!!
La Loutre – Thank you chef for your note and encouragement. Times are a changin…. even in France.
Ellen – Just bought the best perfume ever. Prada. Love it. Check it out.
Gordon – Yes, at the end of the day you’re right. I’m a little old fashioned really. Haven’t felt the need yet to splurge on the “rabbit” or whatever it’s called. But still, it was an interesting conversatation and I can argue both sides. You know, we don’t really have lawns in NYC, but we do have trash to take out and little home improvement projects. I have a daddy-do list that is continually growing…
Jee – Exact! And it also keeps things balanced. Yin and yang, ya know?
I used to be a ballet dancer way-back-when. Then I became an engineer. Who was the most bawdy and vulgar of those two worlds… the ballet dancers hands down.
i miss you giiiiirls 🙁
it’s been 2 months already…
!
i really like this post!
Lok – Your spirit is missed in the kitchen. When are you going to finish that darned cooking school thingy and come back!?!?!
Lilalia – That is so funny! I don’t know if I”ll ever be able to watch a ballet show again without thinking of this comment 😉
Love your sense of humor. Think you should know that the plural of kitchen is kitchens, not kitchen’s. The ‘s is used for possessive case only – like if you want to say something is the kitchen’s, like the kitchen’s floor is slippery. No need to post this comment.